My Weight Loss Journey

I finally am ready to really talk about my weight loss journey. Now, it's not like I haven't BEEN talking about it, I mean my Facebook friends know that my gym conquests are ALL I talk about. But, I mean, really talk about it.

I've been overweight since fifth grade when I started down the path that every woman in my family has taken. There are a million reasons why. Genetics, poor eating habits, and just generally making bad choices. Now, I do not believe that blaming anyone for your current situation is in any way healthy or helpful. However, understanding where some of your habits originated and making the necessary changes in the key to success in this area. I was raised as a member of the "clean plate club" as most of us were. I also was taught that food is a reward and food (and lots of it) is an absolute requirement of every successful social situation. My mother's voice echoes in my head "One must NEVER leave your house hungry. If they do you have failed as a hostess". Now, everyone who knows me knows two things for sure. I HATE failure, and if you come to my house, you are not leaving hungry!

These things coupled with trekking off to my first Weight Watchers meeting at 11 started me on an inevitable path of life-long struggles with my weight. I wasn't the fat kid with no friends. As a matter of fact, my weight wasn't really a problem for me socially. I had friends, boyfriends, and a great social life all the way into my 20s. I did not attend the prom alone or with my cousin. I had a great guy escort me in my size 18 prom gown and we had a great time. My husband married me while I wore a size 20 wedding gown. He loved me regardless of my size.

All of this is what makes my emotional journey so surprising. I wasn't an emotional eater. In fact, during very stressful and tragic times in my life I am unable to eat anything. I couldn't find a link between food and emotion in any way. I really thought my problem was 100% physical. I was mostly right, but there has been a hugely emotional part that has been very hard for me to grasp and as a result talk about.

After getting up to a size 22 I started a whole foods diet and started a healthy workout regiment at the gym. I lost about 40 pounds and got to a size 18 and was pretty close to tipping into a 16. Just like that, it stopped. Nothing I did would break me through the plateau I hit. Trainers could not help me. I was on a beta-blocker for a heart arrhythmia that lowered my blood pressure and heart rate so much that the most intense cardio activity would only raise my heart rate to about 95. Nothing could push it higher. I was told over and over again that I could not lose weight if I could not raise my heart rate. Once again I had failed. Two years later I was back in a 20 and miserable with a life-time of weight loss failure and no answers.

I watched some friends losing weight with Phentermine (brand name Adipex) and thought once again, maybe that is the answer. But truthfully, really thought that it probably wouldn't work for me. Months went by and I could never get the nerve to talk to a doctor. Finally my doctor forced me to come in when my heart medication ran out of refills. My blood pressure and heart rate were actually dangerously low at my visit. He switched my beta blockers to an ace inhibitor and was about to send me on my way. I dug deep and said, "What do you think about Adipex?" He said that it had been highly successful for some and worthless for others. He offered to let me try it since just the effect of higher heart rate and blood pressure would be hugely beneficial to my overall quality of life.

That was the day my physical life started over. I started the medication the day after Thanksgiving in a size 20. Today I've lost almost 55 pounds and am comfortably in a size 12. Now I'm not eating Twinkies and popping a pill. I've transformed my life. I eat whole grains, fresh fruits and vegetables, high fiber, and do not touch cakes, cookies, or really sweets of any kind. I am at the gym 4-5 days a week, and not playing around on a treadmill. My workouts have intensified and just this week joined a boot camp, basic training style class that has challenged me in a whole new way. I do yoga, pilates, the boot camp, and other cardio workouts. I am getting stronger and more fit with every passing day. Just this week I improved my timed mile by 1:14 minutes in only 2 days.

Now, I mentioned the unexpected emotional component. First, this has not only been a physical and emotional journey, but a spiritual one. I have finally accepted that God wants the absolute best of everything for me, included physical healing in the form of a healthy body. I have had to rely on Him in a whole new way. Through revelation by the Holy Spirit, other barriers have been broken down. The biggest and most surprising was the fact that subconsciously I felt in a very real way that weight loss success was a huge betrayal of my mother. I lost my mother over 13 years ago very suddenly and frankly as a result of her own poor health choices and lack of seeking medical care. Again, not blame, just being real. A large part of our relationship involved battling weight together. That was one of our "things". I had to really dig out those feelings and let go of them. My success does not illuminate her failure. I am my own person, with my own family and responsibilities. I have four daughters that I never want to have to experience the tragic loss of a mother at entirely too young of an age. Through a lot of prayer, I have broken free of these emotional shackles. This was a big deal that opened the door to tremendous breakthrough.

I now am looking forward to whatever God has for me down the next road. I love conquering new things that I never thought possible. Running a mile is absolutely nothing for many people, for me it is a mountain I have had to climb. Equipped with Philippians 4:13, I tearfully cross that line 3 times a week and improve with every step. I now have prayerfully set a goal to run a 5K in 6 months or less. I publish this to hold me accountable. I will do this and look forward to seeing faces at the finish line who understand what this means to me and the future of my children. I believe that the last chain on the shackles will be broken when I cross that line.

And my journey continues....

Lost- A Four Letter Word

I have not kept up with blogging as I once intended to. Tonight, I will use my little corner of the world to express a very strong opinion, and I know you are all shocked that I have a very strong opinion :)

My daughters have shown strong athletic tendencies from the get go. My twins especially have always run faster, jumped higher, and even out-shot the boys. I love sports for the strategy, competition, and great life applications they provide so I strongly encourage them in this area. Yes, I am the mom yelling and screaming from the sideline like my kid is in the Superbowl at every game. I do not swear, degrade, and haven't to date smacked-down another parent.

I started my twins out in Upward sports. I loved the combination of devotions and Christian sportsmanship. I quickly learned that most of the sports were played a bit non-competitive and I wanted their abilities to be challenged and nurtured. This season we moved over to the Rec Department to play "more competitive" sports.

This basketball season, I attended the first game and could not believe what I saw. All of the age levels are required to allow the defense to "set-up" before advancing the ball. So this means white teams steals ball from red team and must stand there holding the ball and cannot continue play until the red teams has time to get down court and set up their defense. I was appalled at the entire prospect. Mikaela scored as many as 38 points a game last year on her interceptions and race down court for the score. She has quickly begun to become complacent about the game she had so much passion about.

Now, you say, who cares? Well, let me tell you. You should. This generation is the future of our world. This generation that is told that they are all winners, no one loses, no one sits on the bench, everyone wins all of the time, no one keeps score, and now everyone gets a head start, and of course everyone gets a trophy. How is this in any way the way that real life works? No way! You have to fight hard and play hard to get anywhere in this world and sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you lose. And then you learn from the loss and learn what to do different and better next time. Not our kids, they always win. Lost has become a forbidden four letter word.

I recognize that not everyone agrees with me on this, but that's ok. I can take it. See, I was raised to know that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Everyone won't and doesn't have to agree with me. That is what makes this country a great place. However, that is changing. We have our kids link arms and sing Kumbaya until everyone is in "harmony". It is unrealistic, frustrating, and damaging to an entire generation.

I will now contact the rec department with my very strong opinion and see what happens. After one time of bringing up my view, others began to agree with me. Apparently some people are ready to stand and nod and say "Yeah, what she said" but no one has thought to challenge this head on. Well, God made me this way for a reason, so here goes Lorie to take on the rec department.

I will conclude with a direct quote in a monologue by Glenn Beck. I believe he says it best

"A warning, America: Don't you see because we have tried to make life easier for our kids, we have bought into the lie that there is a free lunch; that you can have it all; that there is no right and wrong. We have destroyed ourselves and we are about to destroy our kids' future by teaching them that losers get a trophy just like winners do. We have taught them that no matter if you win or lose or if you play the game, all outcomes are equal.

"It's a lie, but mark my words, all of society has reinforced this lie and when we yank that reality away, those who think they deserve the corner office, the prettiest girl, the biggest house and the Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing, will not accept no for an answer — even if that means taking it from others.
"When we as parents went into their schools and said: 'not my child, it is somebody else,' when we accepted their cheating or stealing or lying and gave them a reward instead of a punishment we taught them they are above everything, even the rules — they will have no compassion on those that they will perceive destroyed what they had coming. . . . ~Glenn Beck


Blessings!

Repost of Last Year's Veteran's Day-Classic Moment

The following is a re post of last year's Veteran's Day. It is a story I never want to forget. Mackenzie is in First Grade this year and all of my girls are getting big so fast. These kinds of stories are precious. Be blessed :)

Yesterday, Veteran's Day, my kindergartner came home from school all excited about what she had learned that day. I was particularly intrigued because her normal demeanor is exaggerated disgust at the "borin' stuff" she learned all day. So when she oozed enthusiasm, I sat down just waiting the see what had her so excited. She said, "Mommy, did you know that today is Veteran's Day? And we have to call Pop Pop because he is a Veteran, right"

"Yes, yes", I replied, "We always call Pop Pop on Veteran's Day and thank him for his service to our country and fighting in a war so we can have freedom."

"Well," she went on, "I can't wait to talk to him because I learned all about the Veterans and I want to ask him something."

I asked her to tell me what she learned and what she wanted to ask her grandfather.

"Well, the Veterans came over on the Mayflower and they met with Squanto. Squanto was an Indian and made friends with the Veterans. So since Pop Pop is a Veteran I figured maybe he actually got to meet Squanto!"

After I composed myself, I explained that she had indeed confused the Veterans and the Pilgrims and that I was very sure my father had not met Squanto. It was hysterical. It was a little sad though, she was so disappointed. I think she was expecting stories of my dad's encounters with the popular Indian. This was one of those priceless moments I never want to forget. A moment that oozes pure innocence. A moment so rare.

Blessings!

Update

I wanted to update everyone on the status of yesterday's concern over the Presidential Address due to take place on Tuesday. Now this will automatically post to Facebook, and frankly I don't want to change all of my settings just for this one post. So that said, this note is not intended to restart a debate, just to inform those who only read my blog and are not my Facebook friends.

I received a reply from Mike Sleeper, co-chair of the Columbia County Board and later a note was sent home by our school principal reiterating the decision to all parents. It is the decision of the school board that taking time out of the school day on Tuesday to participate in the President's address does not advance the school district's objectives and the classes will not be taking part. Now, if you are concerned, you should send a note directly to your child's teacher. The schools will not take part, but individual classes, especially in the upper grades are not restricted from doing so. There is no mandate that teachers NOT participate. Our school principal has assured us that our entire elementary school will be going on with their day as normal.

I am pleased with the decision and am once again reminded that each of us has a voice and we have a right and responsibility to use it. If you do not agree with something I urge you first to research it and research it well. Ask yourself critical questions about your motives, pray about your decision, and then if you still feel strongly about it, then DO Something about it! Especially when it comes to our children. I am not saying I single handedly changed the course of this situation, but I feel my voice was heard and it may have been the factor that tipped the scales toward the end decision.

Thank you to everyone who both supported and challenged me on my stance on this subject. I am sure there will be opportunities for both in the future.

Blessings!

My Letter to CCBOE

I found out only moments ago that there has not been a decision reached regarding Columbia County's participation in the President Obama national address for next Tuesday. I directed the following email to the Chairman and Co-Chairman of CCBOE. I urge you to do the same. Feel free to copy and paste any of my letter you would like to use as your own.

Send to the following addresses: jbuccafusco1@comcast.net, mike@sleeper.org

Dear Ms. Buccafusco and CCBOE Board,

I would like to express my concern and opinion to the Columbia County Board of Education regarding President Obama's Address to the nation's students next Tuesday, September 8. This concern is not politically motivated, but instead motivated by my rights as a parent to decide what my children will be taught, told, and exposed to. This is a unprecedented move on this administration's part and I do not want my children to be a part of it. I have read over everything available to the public regarding the packet you have been sent prior to this event. I have viewed the discussion questions and instructions. I am disturbed by the apparent indoctrination that is possible by such an event. I would be fine with the possibility of an evening address that we, as parents, are in control of. I would be fine with a pre-recorded address that I could view first and decide on the appropriateness of its content. I am, however, vehemently opposed to the forum as it is described that will be used next week. If the county's decision is to allow and support our schools to participate, I will remove my children from the classroom during any discussion and viewing of the Address. My opinion is shared by a number of other concerned parents and I urge you to consider your position on this very carefully,

Respectfully,

Lorie M Kerns
Concerned parent of three CCBOE students

Who Are These Kids? My Kids!!!

Ok, I've just got to blog on this one. I've left my link on Facebook for each parent to make up their own mind, but this is my blog and I'm going to spill how I feel about this. Besides, I don't think I'll sleep tonight until I get this off my chest.

I only found out tonight that President Obama will address all of our children in school next Tuesday, September 8 at 12 noon. I could post any one of a thousand links, but you can google it and you'll find all the information you need from every perspective. At first I was slightly irritated, and concerned. After some prayer and thought, I am still irritated, concerned, and now outraged, and in complete disbelief at the audacity of this man.

Now, this is not politically motivated. Whether I am Democrat or Republican, for or against Universal Healthcare, is not the issue. The issue is that I have been entrusted with children, by their creator, God Himself. I have been given the responsibility to keep them safe, loved, and to grow them into law-abiding, God-fearing citizens. In order to do this, I pre-read everything they read, pre-watch everything they watch, and closely monitor anyone they spend their time with. But now, a man whom I do not trust, wants free access to my children. To say to them whatever he chooses. And he wants to do this in the evening when I am with them and can make choices for them. NO! He is going to access them while they are out of my care and in the care of the school.

This is what I find an outrage. This is a blatant disregard for my rights as a parent to discern what is best for my children. If he were to tape this speech and make it available to preview, I would preview it and then allow or disallow my children to watch it. I do not allow just anyone to speak their thoughts and ideas freely to my children, least of all someone I distrust and have numerous fundamental differences with. There are major issues of morality and ethics that are in direct conflict with our views.

I find the entire prospect a direct violation of my rights as a parent. I have sent an email to our school principal asking if this telecast will be shown in our school. If it will indeed be shown, I will remove my children during any discussion and viewing time. I will not rob my children of the entire instructional day, but they will not participate in this blatant attempt to indoctrinate them. I will stand up against this shift to socialism as long as I still can. This is not about who our President is, this is about how much government we are going to allow in our lives. I, for one, will stand up now and say something and not wait for the government to grow in power to micromanage every detail of my life.

If you agree with this and have school-aged children, do something about it! If you disagree, well be glad this is the United States of America and we are all still allowed to disagree. It is that simple. I am one parent who lays her head on the pillow each night and prays to God to help me make the best decisions for my children and for them to grow up to be people He and I can be proud of. Parenting is the toughest job in the world, and is a job I take very seriously. As tough as it is though, I'd like to do it without the "help" of the President.

"Un Christian-like Behavior"

Ok, so I haven't blogged in awhile, but this is burning in my brain to write about. My title is one of sarcasm and I will address my Un Christian opinions in this post. I have been accused by some and simply challenged by others on my very strong opinion of Michael Vick playing for the Eagles. I have been accused of being unforgiving and not practicing what I preach.

First of all, this entire issue is one of huge conflict for me. I was born an Eagles fan. In my house, there was no other option presented and I started bleeding Eagles green at a very young age. This love for my team has persevered through countless disappointments (they've yet to win a SuperBowl), seasons where one or two wins was all we got, and my own move out of state. Through it all I have stayed loyal to my team and have always been known as the crazy girl who is OBSESSED with the Eagles.

Then there is another love of mine, animals. I have been a vet tech since I was 19. I have raised dogs, showed dogs at Westminister, traveled overseas to see dogs shown internationally, slept on the floor next to dying dogs, and mourned for the loss of every pet I've ever had. What we have here is a major conflict of interest for me.

Now, we reach the accusations, and here I will address them. First of all, along with Michael Vick, I do not agree with the reinstatement of ANY convicted felon to a major sports team. This is not about dog fighting being the "worst offense" in my opinion. It is not. There are much worse crimes, all of which should keep a player from ever getting on the field again.

So what about grace, forgiveness, and second chances? I believe whole heartedly in all of the above. I serve a merciful loving God who sacrifice greatly to provide these things. However, there is one big word missing here, and that is consequences. There are consequences for actions, something this society is watering down everyday. I know of people right this minute who have committed much "smaller" crimes than the mutilation and torture of innocent animals and have fallen on their face before God and repented. They sincerely are seeking restitution and want to start their life over again. However, most employers will not hire them. Even WalMart has a strict policy not to hire convicted felons. Do I understand this policy? Absolutely! However, this man can walk back into his life and make millions of dollars immediately after serving his jail sentence.

This is what is wrong with our society. We are raising our children in a "sugar-coated" world absent of consequences. Society doesn't want us to spank our children for bad behavior, wants to give a trophy to everyone, not keep score at the soccer game, and make sure "everyone is a winner". Where are the consequences? If you play poorly, you lose the game. If you don't behave, you will be punished. This is how I strive to raise my kids regardless of the popularity of it. We are not preparing them for the real world, unless their future includes being a professional athlete. Only the rich and famous are above consequences. And what are their chances of reaching that level of "success"?

And so this is where I am. I do not advocate any convicted felon playing a professional sport and making millions of dollars doing it. This is a position of public trust and so many young kids and athletes look up to them and want to "be them". My forgiveness does not have any bearing on this entire issue. I was not wronged, and I do not harbor ill feelings or wishes for Michael Vick or any other person trying to straighten out their lives. I hope that anyone in this position sincerely cries out to God (where one should turn for forgiveness) and sets their life on the right course.

I hope everyone who has had a strong opinion about Michael Vick being able to play,and against those of us not agreement of the decision ,will one day "practice what they preach" and reach out to a real-live member of society trying to make their own restitution. Maybe you will mentor someone recovering from drug or alcohol addiction and help them get their lives back on track. This is where a real difference will be made.

As for my Philadelphia Eagles, well, time will tell. My biggest dread is the moment Vick throws the game winning pass or leads them to the Super Bowl. Where will I stand then? I do not know, I honestly don't. But I know this for sure, I have always been an Eagles fan and I serve the God of second chances. You cannot challenge me on that.

Blessings!